


Space and other Oddities

by Emily_Woods



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Best Friends, Christmas, Drabble Sequence, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-02-07 13:51:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12842529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emily_Woods/pseuds/Emily_Woods
Summary: Light-hearted Marauder drabbles and ficlets that are supposed to make you smile.





	1. October 2nd, 1974

**Author's Note:**

> So a lot of these were originally found on tumblr and have made my day at one point or another, so I wanted to gather all of them in one place. I hope you do enjoy them, after all they were made especially for you.

‘Oh dear God, I saw a glimpse of an angel,' James sighed.

Sirius didn’t even have to turn around to understand, that Lily Evans has come downstairs for breakfast.

‘Well, you’re going to hell, so stop it,’ he replied, stuffing his mouth with cinnamon bagels. He was currently too busy waving his hands and charming the pants off some eleven-year-olds with his stories.

‘Hey, Sirius-’ Lupin tried, but Padfoot didn’t hear him. ‘Honey?’ Remus tried again, this time gently touching Black's shoulder.

‘Hmm?’ Sirius didn’t even look annoyed with the fact that he has been interrupted.

‘Can you pass me the syrup?’

James was eyeing them suspiciously. In a few minutes of weird silence (silence at the Gryffindor table meant lots of trouble) Remus pulled Sirius by the sleeve and made him sit on the bench like everyone else, instead of placing his royal ass directly on the dining table.

‘Why is that you always call each other pet-names?’ James asked curiously, still having that weird Sherlock Holmes look on his face.

‘We most certainly do not!’ Sirius exclaimed, which he did a lot when being caught red-handed. ‘If you want to, I can start calling _you_ babe.’

‘It’s really nothing, James. I do it simply out of habit. However, if that’s bothering you-’ Remus replied, putting jelly on the toast and giving it to Sirius absentmindedly.

Sirius started chewing, trying to seek out his young listeners for he hasn’t finished the Great Story of Marauders yet.

‘It does not,’ James shook his head. ‘It’s just you two look very… cute together. It’s weird how I haven’t noticed it before.’

‘Cute? Did he just say that we look cute?!’ Sirius exhaled sharply.

‘Oh boy,’ Moony sighed and started carefully relocating all his books as far away from the table as he could.

‘No, no, Sirius, I didn’t mean cute as in… you know… cute. I meant it as real cool and punk?’ James tried.

‘It’s too late, mere mortal! You have already unleashed the anger of one and only Sirius Orion Black, now I’ll have to defend my honor!’ he proclaimed. ‘Arm thyself!’

Prongs sighed, climbed onto the table and took a baguette from his classmates’ helpful hands.

‘If you tell me now that we will continue fighting with _baguettes_ until the very first blood, I’ll have to retrieve, because as you know we have Transfiguration in ten minutes.’

Remus rolled his eyes and continued eating his bagel and revising Ancient Runes homework from a safe distance.


	2. February 17th, 1976

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so a few things first. I do not update regularly, I just don't. It stresses me out and ficwriting is supposed to be all about fun, so if you're waiting for a weekly update - sorry, not my case.  
> Secondly, as you've probably noticed, I'm not a native speaker, and this work is unbetaed, so THERE WILL BE MISTAKES. Just saying it loud and clear at the beginning. In case you would like to point out some (or any at all) of them, I would be more than glad to fix them. And in generally, if you have any comments - whether they are good or bad - they are always welcome.

‘Stop it!’ Remus laughed, shivered and moved away a little bit.

‘Stop what, Moony? Doing this?’ Sirius asked innocently, continuing tickling him.

‘Th-this, oh God, this-’

‘For Merlin’s sake, Padfoot, let Moony have at least one breakfast in peace,’ James said seriously, throwing an apple at Black’s head.

‘Ouch! Someone’s in a bad mood today,’ Padfoot whispered loudly, still hugging Remus from the back with both of his hands. Lupin relaxed a bit in a regular hug, the one that didn’t require him to plead for mercy and apply all of his survival skills at once.

‘It’s nothing,’ James said, trying to smile, even though his face was still slightly miserable.

‘Is it Lily?’ Peter asked him carefully.

‘Whatever it is, that’s not me,’ the voice from their backs said. Lily adjusted her robe, gave James a quick kiss on the cheek and sat in the empty space between him and Peter.

Potter smiled gently at her and his eyes came back to life.

‘Right, it’s not _you_ , it’s the _absence of you_ that made him like that,’ Sirius observed. ‘Merlin, you are disgusting, both of you.’

Lily seemed to be a little distracted by a dark-haired girl standing near their table. The newcomer confidently approached Moony.

‘Hi, you must be Remus Lupin,’ the girl said, adjusting her hair flirtatiously.

‘I… Yes, I am,’ Remus smiled politely, suspiciously eyeing her. All of his friends went quiet, deciding to observe the conversation rather than interrupt it.

‘Oh, lovely. Professor McGonagall recommended finding you and someone named… James Potter? Who is apparently a Head Boy?’ James choked and raised his hand, waving a bit.

‘Hi,’ he said, exchanging cautious glances with Remus.

‘My name is Casey Grace, I am the new transfer student from Beauxbatons Academy. Professor must have told you about me?’

‘Oh, in fact, she did!’ Moony nodded. ‘I’m sorry for the cold welcome. It is an absolute delight to meet you, Casey.’ He shook the girl’s hand and smiled, warmly this time.

‘Hasn’t she told you anything about Sirius Black? Probably how he is the most handsome lad in the whole school, am I right?’ Padfoot winked, wedging himself into the conversation and automatically trying to charm the newbie.

‘She told me to stay away in case I meet him,’ Casey shrugged her shoulders, clearly unimpressed.

Peter chuckled, but immediately pretended to be coughing under Sirius’s gaze.

Remus tried to hide his own smile.

‘Have you been sorted already?’ he asked instead.

‘Yes, apparently I belong to the Ravenclaw. I was hoping you can show me to the library, if that’s not a problem?’

‘Of course, it would be my pleasure! These idiots have been living in the castle for years and they still have no idea where it is.’

‘Hey!’ Sirius have him a push.

‘Where is it then?’ Remus smiled at him gently.

The silence dropped.

‘It’s… on the third floor?’ Peter tried in a tiny voice. The others looked completely lost. Lily made eye contact with Remus and sighed.

‘Good guess,’ Lupin rolled his eyes and turned back to Casey. ‘You think it is possible to ask Universe if there has been a mistake and maybe someone else was supposed to be my best friend and not those morons?’

‘I don’t know, but if it was, I would be all up for the job,’ Casey smiled seductively at Remus, her red lipstick looking a bit like blood. Peter chocked again in the background and Lily raised her eyebrow at the last comment. Sirius and James exchanged quick glances.

‘Nice to know,’ Remus smiled politely, trying to resolve the tension. ‘Also, if you have your first lesson, I can walk you to it. If you’d like that, of course. It must be hard to adjust on your first day.’

‘You are so sweet, thank you. I have the History of Magic at nine o’clock. With Professor Flitwick?’

‘Sure, we have Numerology, it’s in the same floor.’

‘Just a second then, I’ll grab my stuff.’

And then she retreated hastily.

‘Ravenclaw?’ Sirius snorted, seeming quite indignant at the girl. ‘Of course, her pick-up line is going to include the library.’

‘So-’ James tried to be a little more delicate about the subject. ‘Casey, huh? She seems very…’

‘Lovely?’ Remus suggested, thinking about something and not paying attention to the others.

‘More like a little intense, mate,’ Peter admitted.

‘She’s probably just a determined person,’ Moony smiled and waved his hand at Casey, raising up to his feet. ‘See you later, yeah?’

‘Sure,’ James answered.

The conversation quickly went back to Quidditch and everyone started exchanging their predictions about the next game, except for Sirius, who was still frowning at the sight of Casey grabbing Remus’s arm and batting her eyes innocently.

***

‘So… James has his Quidditch practice in the evening and Pete is working in the dungeons with Slughorn. I though you and I could play some chess, that should be fun!’

‘I don’t know, Sirius, I’ve already promised Casey to study with her. Maybe later?’ Remus answered absentmindedly, turning the page of his book.

The silence was so loud, the fire cracking became deafening.

‘You… seem to be spending a lot of time with her in the library lately,’ Sirius noted, pursing his lips.

James raised his head from the homework on the other side of the room and elbowed Peter to get his attention.

‘Yeah, well, she asks me to help her sometimes and I do. What’s so weird about that? She is a very smart person, why wouldn’t I want to spend time with her?’

‘You do, huh? It’s interesting. You know what else is interesting? How fragile some relationships are. For example, I wonder what would’ve happened if someone told your beloved Casey, that you… have smelly feet, for instance? Or that you pee you bed when you have nightmares? Or maybe that you hate kids and puppies? I wonder if that would…’

Remus abruptly interrupted him, squeezing the cover of the textbook real tight.

‘Are you sabotaging my relationship right now?’

‘I don’t know, it’s your relationship, you tell me,’ Sirius answered aggressively looking right into Remus’s eyes, automatically leaning closer. ‘Wait, and since when do you even have a relationship?!’

‘I think that’s quite enough,’ Lupin said, closing his book. ‘I am in no way obliged to hear out all of this nonsense from you. I hope you will be in a better mood when I come back.’

He left the common room, shutting the portrait roughly behind his back.

James whistled, clearly surprised with all the drama.

‘Mate. You got it bad,’ he said, putting his hand on Sirius’s shoulder from behind.

‘I don’t,’ Padfood reacted bluntly, moving his shoulder away from James’s hand.

‘Wow, you’re jealous!’ Peter blurred out suddenly. It sounded a little bit like an accusation.

‘I’m not! I’m not jealous, got it? I’m all sunshine, lollipops, rainbows, unicorns and a desire to punch that Casey in the face with a brick’, said Sirius angrily and turned to James. ‘If you need me, I will be in bed, reading. If Moony wants to talk to someone smart, he is so getting someone smart.’

***

‘I’m telling you, Moony. She likes you more than a friend,’ James was trying to convince Remus a few weeks later.

‘She does not, I would’ve known that,’ he answers calmly. ‘My intuition wouldn’t have just left me without a single clue on what’s going on in my own life.’

‘Darling, in that area you are as observant as a brick,’ Sirius said, tilting his head.

Remus turned to Lily for help – she only smirked and shrug her shoulders.

‘Padfoot has a point,’ she said. Lupin shook his head in disapproval sending his most betrayed look. ‘So does James,’ Lilly added, more than pleased with herself.

‘Hey, Remus, can I like… talk to you for a second? In private?’ Casey seemed to have appeared out of nowhere and was already being importunate with Lupin - staying too near, bending forward too close.

‘Is it something important?’ Remus asks in a genuine concern.

‘No, no, nothing like that, just-’

‘Oh, okay then. But if it’s not that important, you can say it here, right?’ he smiles.

‘Erm… Sure. I wanted you to come to Yule Ball with me,’ she says, now invading his personal space and stroking Remus’s shoulder.

Sirius suddenly became extremely concern with the content of his plate. His hand, the one that has been holding the fork, was now almost white from the pressure. And he looked pissed at the whole world.

‘I don’t think… Erm… Casey. I’m flattered, but kind of… already taken, you know? And not only for the dance.’

Sirius’s eyes were now wide open and he let go of the fork and put it back on the plate.

Casey also seemed shocked.

‘I guess, you can say that I’m in arranged marriage,’ Lupin added, eyeing Padfoot carefully. James snorted loudly at the background. Lily immediately cuffed him on the nape. ‘Sorry I haven’t told you this before.’

Casey’s hand was still on Remus’s shoulder. She blinked a few times and then bent over even closer to him, as if telling a secret.

‘Well, it’s a surprise, of course, but she doesn’t have to know about us.’

Moony sat up straighter, something changed in his eyes and looked a lot like a splash of anger.

‘Oh, I think _he_ already does.’

Casey blinked, trying to process the new information.

‘So it would’ve been lovely if you could, you know, take your hands off him, all right?’ Sirius added, looking at the girl with a lot of contempt in his eyes. Then he turned to Remus and closed the other boy’s ears with his own two hands - the way adults do, when they don’t want children to hear them swearing. ‘Am I being fucking clear here, _darling_?’

‘Yeah,’ she said, probably hating Sirius at this moment even more than he hated her.

‘Right. Get lost then,’ he smiled and turned away from her.

‘There was no need to act the way you did, you know,’ Moony told him off gently.

‘Oh, I think there was, I think there really was.’


	3. Are the Aliens Watching Over Us?

‘I think it’s time,’ James said impatiently, tapping his leg, biting fingernails and not even trying to sit straight on his end of the bench anymore.

‘I told you we’ll go after dinner,’ replied Remus over his new Charms textbook. ‘For now, just eat, breathe, and for Merlin’s sake stop getting on my nerves.’

‘Where the hell is Sirius by the way? Is he like… missing a meal?’ asked Peter absentmindedly, stuffing his mouth with mashed potatoes.

‘That’s ridiculous, Peter. If he was able to run away from his dearest Poppy Pomfrey last fall to get his lunch, there is absolutely no stopping him now, when he’s healthy.’

Noticing that Peter was trying to come up with a response, James pressed even further. ‘He had a broken leg then, Peter. He is coming.’

‘He said he was going for a walk earlier,’ Remus offered and felt something cold and liquid dripping down his collar. ‘Argh!’

‘It was Padfoot who needed a walk, not me,’ Sirius grinned, wringing out his soaking hair right on Remus’s shoulder.

‘Get away from me! You smell like a wet dog!’ Remus laughed, pushing him away.

Sirius smiled his softest I-am-looking-at-Remus-Lupin smile, kissed him on the corner of the mouth, and pulled all the plates with food closer.

‘If you are done being cute, we actually have a business meeting to attend,’ James reminded them.

‘Prongs, darling, read my lips: After. The. Goddamn. Dinner!’ Remus hissed. Potter noticed the glimpse of genuine annoyance in his eyes and immediately shut his pie hole.

‘Remus, Remus! I was running out there in the rain- Well, Padfoot was- and I found this amazing- well, he did- What is the word? Umm… Herb? Yeah, herb! It was smelling soo good, I mean it this time! I know I have told you that before and it turned out to be lilac but I’m telling you know - this thing is like so much better… Are you even listening to me?’

Lupin sighed, tearing himself away from the book just for a second.

‘Of course, I was! Running, rain, Padfoot, herb. Not lilac. Please continue, I’m all ears,’ he said, turning over the page.

James and Peter exchanged glances, smiled knowingly to each other and said nothing. Sometimes when Sirius was in his talkative mood it was really hard to keep up with everything he says, so they all eventually learned the important skill of zoning out.

Ten more minutes of Sirius’s delightful story about the squirrel he haunted and Remus gave up.

‘Alright, alright, you win, James, let’s go now! Sirius, love, I think you can finish your fascinating story on our way there, okay?’

They left the room in a hurry, and McGonagall eyed them suspiciously. But then again - she was always looking suspicious when she happened to see the four of them, so it was probably no big deal.

‘-and so I ate it and the taste was so weird, Remus!’ Sirius pronounced, his speech a little indistinct from all the running.

‘That’s great, Sirius. Right, here we are! Prongs, did you bring it?’

‘Yeah, mate, that’s what you asked for, innit?’ James handed him a set of picklocks. Remus mumbled something affirmative and started working.

‘Slughorn would be delighted to find us picking the locks to his personal chambers,’ Peter said sarcastically, aiming the Lumos on the top of his wand at the door for Remus to see better.

‘Don’t be a wimp, Warmtail. You know very well he has his club meeting after dinner on Tuesdays,’ said James. ‘Anyway, Remus, you never told us where exactly you learned how to do that.’

Lupin stopped for a second.

‘Oh, that? It’s… Erm… My mom taught me.’

‘Your mom? A sweet muggle lady who works at the in-su-ra-nce office?’ James asked, astonished. Remus bought him a dictionary of muggle words for Christmas and Potter was not hesitant to use his knowledge at every possible occasion.

‘She had bad days,’ Remus smiled, proud of his family.

‘You guys are absolutely hilarious!’ Sirius declared suddenly. ‘The caterpillar told me that already but I did not believe her,’ he added philosophically and slid down the wall.

The conversation fell silent. Remus froze, holding his breath.

‘Sirius, are you- are you okay, buddy?’ James said carefully, assessing the situation.

‘Sure I am!’ Black answered earnestly. ‘I just have a question for you, though. This is like the most important question of my life, so you take it siri… sirrus… sirios… sirussly?’

‘Oh Merlin,’ Remus said, his eyes comically open.

‘If it’s not ‘Remus Lupin, will you marry me?’ then I am not sure I want to know it,’ James joked automatically, his eyes even bigger than Remus’s. Lupin elbowed him absentmindedly. Peter was just standing there, not being able to collect his thoughts.

‘Are the aliens watching over us? Do they think our bodies are weird?’ To prove his point Sirius pulled the skin on his forearm and demonstrated his discovery to the others. ‘Weeeird,’ he added with more convenience this time.

‘Sirius, this is hardly the time… Are you drunk, mate?’ James questioned him, folding his arms.

‘If you are, then where the hell did you get the booze?’ Peter cut in but was interrupted by Remus’s hushing.

‘Sirius,’ Lupin made a few tiny steps forward. ‘Darling, what’s up with you?’

Black focused his attention on the person in front of him. His face lit up.

‘Remi!’ he rejoiced. ‘I am so lucky to have you in my life. Like, I love you, I really do. Well, you and Patrick.’

Remus sighed, convincing himself that now is hardly the time to ask...

‘Who the hell is Patrick?’

‘Tis alright, you don’t know him,’ Black answered and patted Remus on the leg.

Peter rolled his eyes and moved closer to his usual lookout place.

‘Well, enlighten me then.’

‘You never answered me ‘bout the aliens!’ Sirius pouted, trying to scratch his head against the stone wall, much like Padfoot would’ve done.

‘Rem, we have like six minutes left,’ James told him, checking his watch (another Remus’s present).

‘Look after him,’ he instructed James. Opening that old door turned out to be much easier than Remus expected, so in a few minutes they were already inside, searching for the ingredients.

‘I think this is the last one,’ Potter suggested, showing him a dusty old bottle.

‘Right. Let’s get out of here.’

They both helped Sirius up. Lupin heard bits like ‘why carrots? She does even like them!’ and ‘how do you explain a concept of ice cream to an alien?’

When they all barged into the Gryffindor common room, it was already very dark outside. All four of them fell onto the sofa and tried to catch their breath. James was the first one to start giggling but it was so contagious that in a moment they were all laughing.

‘Now… what the hell happened to you?’ Remus asked Sirius gently, putting a stray curl away from his face.

‘I wasn’t drinking, I swear,’ Sirius mumbled.

‘Of course, you weren’t, you daft bugger. It’s probably ‘cos you simply did not have an opportunity or time to do that. So, what was it, love?’

‘I dunno. It was like… even the rain was getting friendlier,’ Sirius whispered to him trustingly and laughed again, this time softy.

‘Right, I imagine Padfoot loved that…’ Remus told him, playing with his hair. ‘Wait. Padfoot!’

‘What?’ Sirius jumped up a little bit.

‘That herb you ate… what did it smell like?’

‘Mmm… Like black licorice. Tasted like one, too,’ Black answered dreamily, then frowned and nodded to make his argument seem more convincing.

Remus looked at him for a second, eyes wide yet again today, and then started laughing.

‘What is it, Moons?’ James poked at him lazily.

‘That… that idiot…’

Remus was laughing so hard he couldn’t finish the phrase. There was fire crackling in the fireplace, stolen potions clinking in their pockets, owls hooting in the dark, and now that Remus knew Sirius was alright, nothing was able to bring him down.

‘What?’

‘He ate Anise seeds,’ Lupin explained, continuing giggling.

Peter and James exchanged glances.

‘So?’

‘Oh, God…’ Remus wiping the tears in the corners of his eyes. ‘What, you really don’t know? It’s like catnip for cats, does the same thing for dogs. He’ll be okay in the morning.’

James sighed with a great relief. The last thing he wanted is to bring intoxicated Sirius Black to Poppy Pomfrey and explain how exactly he got high.

‘That leaves us with only one question,’ Peter glanced at Remus curiously.

‘Oh, that’s right.’ Moony stopped laughing all of a sudden. ‘Who the hell is Patrick?’

Sirius stretched himself, settling his head comfortably on Remus’s lap.

‘That’s my alien friend,’ Black grinned happily, and then covered his mouth with a hand. ‘Just don’t tell Moony that, for some reason they don’t par… partic… par-ti-cu-lar-ly like each other,’ he confessed.

The room fell silent. Remus raised an eyebrow and could almost physically _feel_ Peter’s and James’s need to laugh.

‘This isn’t funny!’ he warned them.

‘You’re absolutely right - it’s hilarious,’ Peter corrected him, pretending to be coughing.

‘Okay, it is a little bit funny,’ Remus sighed and waved off. ‘Go ahead,’ he added, chuckling and listening to his friends mocking him. Sirius was already snoring lightly, hugging Remus’s waist in his sleep.


End file.
